How to Build Emotional Capacity
Let’s imagine two coworkers, Emily and Alex, performing their daily tasks at work. Emily and Alex sometimes get stressed out at work. When things are going well, they both perform at an extremely high level completing their tasks with flying colors. However, when adversity strikes, Emily and Alex, unfortunately, crumble under the pressure.
Both are described amongst team members as diligent and hopeful. But behind the scenes, they have a difficult time rebounding after facing adversity. Adversity is a necessary part of learning and becoming successful. But Emily and Alex struggle rolling with the punches.
Introducing, Daniel, the manager of Emily and Alex’s team. Daniel worked as a specialist alongside Emily and Alex for three years. All three of them started at about the same time. However, Daniel was promoted to be their manager and has been for approximately two years now.
What made Daniel stand out compared to Emily and Alex? Amongst every group, team, and organization, there are key characteristics that each leader must develop to become successful. High emotional capacity. When adversity struck his team, he rallied his team members and helped them remain confident in their abilities. It doesn’t matter how talented, diligent, or intentional you are, you need the emotional capacity to help you and your team overcome adversity.
In this blog post, we will outline what emotional capacity is, how to increase it, what happens when leaders have zero capacity, and why it’s important to continually work on increasing emotional capacity.
What is Emotional Capacity?
Emotional capacity is a measure of an individual’s strength or ability to overcome circumstances, adapt to challenging situations, and build quality relationships. No matter how diligent, talented, or intentional you are, you need the emotional capacity to help overcome adversity and achieve your goals.
One specific challenge most individuals face when attempting to build emotional capacity is their self-limiting belief. While it’s difficult to understand at first, this self-limiting belief can impact all facets of an individual’s life. It can impact their social, work, and family life. Self-limiting individuals believe they have to aim low in life so that if they are unsuccessful, it’s not as bad as if they had aimed higher.
To build emotional capacity, each individual needs to realize that they have unlimited potential. You must be honest with yourself and others and evaluate this self-limiting mindset and be willing to take difficult feedback from others.
Bill Gates once said, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” Many individuals limit their own potential without even realizing it. Each person must make a diligent effort to understand what’s holding them back and tackle the root cause.
How Do You Increase Emotional Capacity?
Change the Narrative
A simple way to increase your emotional capacity is by changing the narrative of your life. Most individuals have dreams that are, “One day, I want to write a novel” or “I want to become a dancer.” What’s the difference between this individual and another that has a high emotional capacity? The first has a dream, and the second has a goal. The second individual says, “I will write a novel” or “I will become a dancer.”
Build Quality Relationships
Another way to increase your emotional capacity is by building quality relationships with others. Have you heard of the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? It’s extremely important to surround yourself with individuals who have a high emotional capacity.
Surround yourself with individuals who are disciplined, full of integrity, and are optimistic about the future. These individuals should give you energy and genuinely want to help and see you improve. They shouldn’t be afraid to give you challenges that will help build your emotional capacity.
While it may be easy to spend time with those who make you feel good and don’t expect you to change for the better, it can be detrimental to your success. On the other hand, it’s also just as damaging to spend time with those who are blaming and tearing others down for shortcomings.
Take a moment to think very carefully about the five people you spend time with most. Do they share similar values as you? Do they appreciate the effort you put in to become successful? Do they build you up by providing constructive feedback? Do they tear you down often? Do you feel drained after you speak with them? By answering a few simple questions, you will be able to identify individuals that may be destroying your emotional capacity. By limiting your exposure to these individuals, you will be better off in the long run.
What does it mean to have no emotional capacity?
Many individuals who struggle with having low emotional capacity may have a difficult time controlling their emotions. They may have moments when they lash out at others when they feel like they are under attack or backed into a corner.
Examples of Low Emotional Capacity
What does it look like when a leader has low emotional capacity? When a leader within an organization or team has no emotional capacity, it is common to find a negative climate, culture, or harsh work environment. In contrast, leaders with a high emotional capacity generally uplift, inspire, encourage, motivate, and produce a loving environment. This is one of many positive leadership styles that leaders with a high emotional capacity portray in their role.
Why should I build emotional capacity?
The amazing part about building your emotional capacity is that it empowers and inspires others around you to become better. While working on yourself, others notice the daily change you portray in your countenance. By surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who are as committed to becoming successful as you are, it will push each one of you to continue growing. You will become an example for your team and organization.
Take a moment to reflect. Are you doing everything you can to become successful? Do you push aside your self-limiting beliefs? Do you encourage, uplift, inspire, and motivate others to push through adversity? Are you surrounding yourself with like-minded and motivated individuals?
By asking yourself these questions, you will be able to gauge where you are and where you need to go to become better. Reflect on these questions each month to keep yourself on track. You, friends, and family deserve the best version of yourself.
Increasing your emotional capacity isn’t something you can achieve overnight. It takes time, practice, and constant reflection. It’s a continual process over many years. Make sure that you put in the continual effort to becoming the best version of yourself, surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, and not limiting your own potential. Remember, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
